I'm struggling here.
I'm having to drag myself out of bed. I'm greedily lapping up moon days and rest days. When I do prise myself out of bed I'm delaying, putting off, avoiding my practice room, it's an effort, a struggle.
And when I do get on the mat I'm having to grind it out, not really enjoying it. I catch myself looking at the clock, find myself tempted to rush through the second half of the practice or think of excuses to skip poses. So far I've just about managed to stay on program, the breath, bandhas, the mantra I use throughout, have helped but it's all a bit tedious.
OK I'm being melodramatic, it's not as bad as that, I'm enjoying some parts of it and some days are better than others but overall.... it's a struggle.
I'm not sure how it's come about, I've switched my practice around before. Ashtanga was OK in the evening although I had to cut it short a few times, cut out most of finishing or done a VK practice because I was running late but that was kind of OK because I'd been practicing Vinyasa Krama in the morning. I've never stopped having a morning practice. No, it's going back to ashtanga in the mornings. I'd forgotten what a long hard practice it is. When I first started, of course, I built up to it and then it had become a routine that I just got on with, enjoyed it most of the time, ground it out when It felt hard work, no big deal but here I'm jumping back into full practice, getting up at five-thirty on six hours sleep to face that Sisyphean boulder every morning and it's an effort. More melodrama, indulge me this once.
Figured I shouldn't be keeping it to myself, 'bout time I hit a wall huh.
It'll pass right? It's just a case of rebuilding the discipline, getting back in the routine, becoming used to two hours of full on practice ( morning Vinyasa Krama was very relaxing, mellow, hard work at times but a much slower pace ). It'll be fun again, No?
Oh I worked it out. I didn't practice Ashtanga in July or August (except on Fridays, always kept Friday primary up) Eight times in September, Five x Primary, three x Intermediate. Eighteen times in October, Eleven x Primary, seven x Intermediate and so far Seven times in November, six x Primary and Intermediate just the once.
And tomorrow it's Intermediate, groan.